After Always
by AlwaysKate11
Summary: As the name implies, this is a short story of the time immediately following Always. My take on what comes After Always. My first attempt at a true Mature scene, so bear with me :
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

**Wandering**

Kate crossed her arms, hunching her shoulders against the cool, incessant rain as she walked the dark streets. She vaguely wondered how late it was. She was so wrapped in her thoughts that she was completely unaware of the time or her surroundings. She stopped and pulled out her phone, heedless of the small drops splattering on the illuminated screen. She was shocked to see it was only 9:37. It seemed much later. Wiping the wet hair out of her eyes, she looked around, searching for a clue to where she was.

She recognized the area immediately. She was only a block from his loft. She should have been surprised, but she wasn't. Of course she was headed there. Where else would she go? She looked back down at the phone in her hand, and pulled up his number. Not giving herself time to second guess herself, she hit 'talk' and waited anxiously for him to pick up. She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat when the call went to voicemail. She tried to convince herself that he was in the shower, or just away from his phone, but instinctually she knew better. She started walking again, quicker now, until she was almost running, suddenly desperate to reach him.

Several minutes later, she was standing in the hallway outside of his loft. She was wet, sore and physically and mentally exhausted. She should be home right now getting out of a hot shower and crawling under the covers of her own bed. She should not be standing outside of Castle's door dripping wet when he didn't even want to see her. But what she should be doing didn't matter. Going home wasn't an option. Being anywhere but here wasn't an option. Everything in her needed to be with him. Now. She raised her fist and knocked on the door.

* * *

His stomach knotted painfully when his phone rang and her smiling picture appeared on the small screen. He didn't hesitate to turn it off. He had already had the argument with himself and knew that he couldn't do half way with her anymore. If he did, he would never walk away. It hurt more than he would admit, but not as bad as sitting around watching her destroy herself. He turned and grabbed the remote, pulling her image up on his big screen. Sadly he slid his finger across the smooth surface dumping her entire file into the cyber trash. _Done. Over. _

He groaned inwardly at the knock at the door. _Could this day get any longer? _he thought wearily as he slowly walked towards the door. He had watched his baby graduate today and was still raw from losing the woman he loved. He wanted nothing more than to drown his sorrows in a glass of scotch and go to bed. He was so weary that he didn't even think to wonder who would be at his door in the middle of a thunderstorm. He opened the door and froze.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**I just want you**

Her heart slammed into her chest when his wary, blue eyes met hers. Everything she planned to say flew out right out of her head, rendering her speechless. They stood there in the doorway for several seconds before he finally spoke.

"Beckett, what do you want?"

"You," she managed to force out, her throat raw from hours of crying, before giving in to the overwhelming need to touch him. Without thought she moved forward, grabbing him even as he stepped back, her lips meeting his in a kiss that was breathtaking and all too short. He pulled away. She refused to let go, instead she held his face gently, whispering over and over how sorry she was, willing him to forgive her. She kissed him again.

Firmly pushing her away, he searched her eyes. "What happened?"

She was aware of the tears trickling down her cheeks, but made no attempt to stop them.

"He got away, and I didn't care. I almost died. And all I could think about was you. I just want you." She leaned forward again, seeking his touch. Her heart contracted painfully when yet again he pulled back. She looked at him, her eyes begging as she gently reached up and touched the corner of his mouth.

* * *

Her slight touch pushed him over the edge. The sharp crack of thunder coincided with the crack in his armor. He couldn't resist. Damn the consequences, he needed what she was offering. He pushed her roughly against the door, causing it to slam shut as he hungrily took her mouth. Everything after that was a blur. Her taste, her smell, the touch of her hands on his back. He felt her knees buckle as his lips grazed her neck. He pulled away, their harsh panting echoing in his ears. Slowly, he released the button on her shirt revealing the black lace underneath. He couldn't help but notice the scar. The small, faint circle was a vivid reminder of just how lucky he was to have her standing there. He released a shaky breath when she took his hand and placed it gently over the scar. He kissed her again, and when they slowly pulled apart, her hand trailed down his arm, her fingers linking gently in his. His heart skipped a beat when her eyes met his and she turned to lead him towards his bedroom.

They barely made it into the room before Kate once again was kissing him, her fingers frantically working to undo the buttons on his shirt. He grabbed her hands and pulled them away, putting a slight distance between them. She was obviously very emotional from whatever had happened with her tonight. As badly as he wanted to be with her, he needed to know that she was doing this for the right reasons. He didn't think he could stand it if he saw regret in her eyes in the morning. He searched her face in the semi-darkness. He had to ask.

"Are you sure?" It came out almost as a whisper, so overwhelmed with emotion that he almost couldn't speak.

She didn't answer. Instead she tugged her hands free. Looking steadily into his eyes, she brought her hands back to his shirt and again started the task of unbuttoning it. This time slowly. Deliberately. He sucked in a breath when the back of her fingers grazed his bare chest as each small button was released. Just when he didn't think he could stand it another second, she popped open the last one and then her small, soft hands were on his shoulders, then sliding down his arms as she pushed his shirt off onto the floor. He groaned out loud when she started on the buttons on her own shirt. She only managed to release two before he took over. Too impatient to worry about buttons, he reached for the hem of her shirt and slowly pulled it up over her head. He let his fingers lightly skim her waist, then the sides of her breast, his body tightening in anticipation when he felt her tremble under his touch.

Wanting to see her better, he reached over to flip the light switch. She grabbed his hand, stopping him. He started to protest, but the words froze in his throat when she led his hand again to the bit of lace that covered her breast. He reached around with his other hand and effortlessly unhooked her bra. It fell silently to the floor and Castle immediately replaced the lace with his hands. Her small, firm breasts fit his hands perfectly. Like she was made just for him, he couldn't help thinking. He lightly stroked them before bending down and taking one soft nipple into his mouth, suckling gently, gratified to feel it tightening and hardening under his tongue.

He pulled away abruptly when he felt her fingers fumbling with the button of his pants. It wasn't long before the button was free, and her hand was lowering his zipper with a tantalizing slowness. He felt himself harden as the zipper parted and her hand lingered for just a second on the front of his boxers. He quickly pushed them down, boxers and all, and kicked them off. He moved forward, brushing his body against hers, causing her to step backwards until she hit the side of the bed. With a gentle push, she fell back onto the mattress. He pulled off her boots, and stripped off her socks before reaching for the small button that held her jeans closed. Mimicking her teasingly slow removal of his jeans, he took his time releasing the button and very, very slowly lowering the zipper. He stopped and leaned down, planting a soft kiss on her belly, then lower, on the small area of skin exposed by the open zipper. She shuddered, when his lips grazed the small elastic band at the top of her panties. The way her muscles tensed under his touch and the sound of her labored breathing told him how much he was affecting her. More than almost anything he wanted to take his time and continue this slow, sensual discovery of her body, but he knew there was no way he could wait. Not this time.

Urgently, he began to peel off her jeans. Still damp from the rain, it wasn't easy, and it took both of them working together to wrestle the denim from her, leaving her laughing at his obvious frustration. The offending garment finally tossed on the growing pile on the floor, Kate's laughter stopped abruptly when she caught the look on Castle's face, his eyes hungry and dark.

The storm over, the moon had found its way out from behind the thick clouds and it's faint rays shown in through the window, bathing her body in soft moonlight. He slowly lay down next to her on the bed, careful not to block the light. Reverently, he leaned over and kissed her. He spent several minutes just exploring her mouth. Getting to know it, inside and out. Memorizing everything about her. Her unique taste, the feel of her lips and tongue against his. Finally, when he had his fill, he let his mouth trail down her jaw, planting soft kisses on her neck, eliciting a small moan from her. Meanwhile his hands were busy exploring the rest of her. Her breasts, her small waist and the smooth skin of her belly. He groaned when she returned the favor, her hands seemingly everywhere. In his hair, on his back, running up his sides before coming to rest on his chest.

He kissed her again, deeply, as he let his hand travel lower, past her belly, stopping only when he came to her panties. He sat up and slowly lowered them down her legs. He sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, looking at the small scrap of silk now wadded up in his hands. _This is really happening, he thought in breathless amazement. Kate is naked in my bed and we are getting ready to make love. _It was almost too good to be true, but when he looked over and saw her looking at him with eyes so full of passion and longing, he had no doubt that it was real. He let the panties slide from through his fingers and slowly turned back to her.

He brushed the hair out of her face, and tenderly kissed her as his hand once again traveled down her body, his fingers skimming lightly over her smooth skin. He hesitated only briefly when they reached the soft patch of hair between her legs. Her legs parted immediately, giving him access to her most private places. He brushed the soft skin there, finding her more than ready for him. His touch became bolder, as she involuntarily lifted her hips, pushing against fingers. But then she reached down and took him in her hand, squeezing lightly. It was too much. Her touch on him there came close to pushing him over the edge. He pulled her hand away. Grabbing her other hand, he laced his fingers with hers, pinning them to the bed on either side of her head. He slowly eased his body down until he was lying on top of her, the feeling of her breasts brushing against his naked chest, her legs moving restlessly under his, testing his precarious control. He kissed her neck, before gently placing his lips over her scar.

"Please, Castle," Kate whispered frantically. He lifted his head, wanting to look into her eyes when they became one. Slowly, he filled her, watching her face contort with pleasure as her body arched up to meet his, a soft moan escaping her lips.

He wanted to go slow, make their first time together last. But it wasn't to be. Now that he was finally inside her, her body tightly surrounding him, her fingers clutching his, he lost all conscious thought, thrusting into her again and again before collapsing, totally spent, on top of her, her chest heaving under his head as they lay trying to catch their breath.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Conflicted**

Kate felt like she was going to explode. Her body was tightening and deliciously aching as his hands and lips caressed her body. Her breath was coming in small pants, her heart racing out of control as she neared that peak that seemed just out of reach.

With a loud gasp, she abruptly woke up. Lying in the dark, she brought her hand up to rest on her galloping heart, shocked at her body's strong physical response to what was obviously a very realistic dream involving her and Castle.

Feeling fuzzy and disoriented from being jerked from a deep sleep, Kate turned over to reach for her bedside lamp. She froze, suddenly fully awake, when she bumped into the warm body next to her. Snuggled against her side was a very real, and apparently very naked, Rick Castle. For several seconds, her mind went completely blank on how she had ended up in bed with him before it all came flooding back: The fight with her sniper. Almost falling off the roof. Captain Gates. Quitting the force. Wandering through the rain and showing up at his door, finally giving in to her feelings and everything that followed.

She looked over at him, struggling to make out his sleeping features in the dark room. Careful not to wake him, she gently touched his face, tracing the line of his jaw, his chin, his lower lip, as she tried desperately to wrap her mind around the fact that this was real. She was really here. In his bed. She frowned in the dark, her mind going in all different directions as she tried to sort out her feelings. She squeezed her eyes shut in frustration, angry with herself that even after last night she struggled so much with her emotions when it came to Castle.

One thing she was sure of: She wasn't sorry. She had already realized that she wanted to be with him, even before everything that happened yesterday. Her only regret was that it happened so fast, the aftermath of the days events pushing them from zero to sixty in one night. She never expected their first kiss to lead immediately to his bed and it left her feeling very overwhelmed.

_Why was it just so difficult with him_? she wondered sadly. He was everything she wanted. Everything she needed. He had stuck by her all this time, while she worked through her emotional baggage. More than that, he was the reason she even _wanted_ to work through it. He made her want to be whole. So she could be with him. And most importantly, he loved her. So why was she so worried? About where all of this would lead and what would come next? Why couldn't she just let go and be happy with where they were now?

Finally she gave up trying to think. Instead she curled into his body, drawing comfort from him even as he slept. Tucking her head under his chin, she let the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and the warmth of his body lull her back to sleep.

The next time she opened her eyes, it was morning. This time she knew exactly where she was- completely ensnared by Castle's body. One arm draped loosely around her waist, his legs tangled with hers. She lay perfectly still, wanting to savor the feeling of waking up in his arms, bracing herself for the conflicting feelings she knew would soon re-surface. It didn't take long. Her first impression of just how right it felt was quickly overshadowed by a sense of unease.

She peeked up at him, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that he was still sound asleep. Carefully she worked to untangle herself without waking him. She had no intention of leaving, but was hoping that getting a shower and getting dressed before he woke up would make it a little easier. She slowly inched over to the edge of the bed and sat up, wincing at the soreness in her body. As she tried to stand, the pain worsened, and she couldn't stop the moan that escaped.

* * *

Castle heard the small sound and struggled to wake up. Long after Kate had fallen asleep, he had lain awake just watching her, listening to the soft sounds of her breathing. After finally drifting off, he had woken up several times in the night, reaching for her, worried that he would wake up to find her gone. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he pushed up on one elbow. He frowned when he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, the sheet pulled around her like a cloak of armor. Apparently, his fears were well founded because if he wasn't mistaken, she was on the verge of sneaking away.

"Going somewhere?" he asked, a small knot forming in his stomach when he saw her freeze at the sound of his voice.

She turned, looking over her shoulder at him. With all of her make-up worn off, and her hair in wild disarray around her bare shoulders, she looked so beautiful it nearly took his breath away. He only wished he didn't see such hesitation in her eyes.

"Come here," he said quietly, holding his breath as he watched her inner struggle, only letting it out when she slowly returned to his side.

"Good morning," he said, gently pushing the hair out of her face, letting his fingers linger on her check after tucking the loose strands behind her ear. He was surprised when she didn't answer, but instead kissed him softly, letting her lips linger on his before breathing a soft "Good morning," against his mouth.

He knew they needed to talk, but it was going to have to wait. Just that brief contact of her mouth on his caused an immediate physical reaction, which only intensified when he saw her eyes widen and darken in response. He wrapped his fingers in her hair and returned the kiss, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, his senses singing at the already familiar taste of her. He reluctantly left her mouth to kiss her cheek and then the soft spot behind her ear. His already tense body tightened when she released a small, sexy sound and he made a mental note to visit that spot again. He kissed her collar bone and then the hollow between her breasts. Encountering the top of the sheet, still firmly tucked around her, he grabbed the soft fabric, pulling it gently away from her body. His eyes jumped to hers, puzzled, when she quickly reached for the sheet, yanking it out of his hands and pressing it tightly back against her.

"Come on, Kate," he said smiling. "Don't tell me that after last night you are feeling shy?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**Wow**

_Was she feeling shy?_ Kate was very surprised to find that she was and it was slightly unnerving. Normally very comfortable with her body, once again, there was just something so different when it came to Castle. The thought of him pulling back the sheet and looking at her naked body made her feel vulnerable and if there was one thing she didn't do well, it was 'vulnerable'. But the quick rush of heat low in her belly and between her legs told her that the idea of his gaze on her naked body also excited her and if feeling shy was the only thing holding her back, she knew she wouldn't hesitate to throw off the sheet and give him what he wanted.

But there was more to it than that. Her attempt to get up off of the bed had hurt. A lot. And if the pain was any indication, her body bore the marks of the beating she had received at the hands of her sniper. She watched as Castle's smile slowly faded and concern edged into his eyes as he recognized the anxiety on her face.

Taking her chin in his hand, he stared at her intently. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She didn't want to show him, didn't want to see that look in his eyes, but she knew she had to. So after a brief hesitation, she slowly lowered the sheet. His loud gasp confirmed her fears and she quickly covered herself back up.

"What the—Kate? What happened?" he asked, obviously shocked by what he saw. "He came after you, didn't he? Dammit Kate, why didn't you say something?" She cringed at the anger in his voice. He noticed and when he spoke again, his voice was quiet, gentle. "You should have told me. I would have been more careful."

She saw the look on his face and knew he was remembering last night, worried that he had been too rough, had accidentally hurt her. His pained look was yet another reminder of how much he cared for her, and she brought her hand to his cheek as she felt her eyes well with tears. He brushed them away as they fell, his thumb feather light on her cheek. Then he abruptly sat up.

"Get dressed."

She frowned, confused by the return of his terse tone. "What's wrong? Where are we going?"

"What's wrong?" he asked, clearly surprised that she had to ask. "Kate, you're hurt. I'm taking you to the hospital. You need to be checked out."

"Castle, stop" she said firmly, grabbing his arm to keep him from getting out of bed. "I'm fine. Really. Just some bruises and scrapes. Nothing that won't heal."

She watched his face as he weighed her words, hoping he would take her at her word and let it go. In an attempt to distract him from her injuries, she ran her hand up his arm, feeling his muscles clench under her fingers. Smiling, she ran her hand over his shoulder before sliding it onto his chest, her thumb brushing against his nipple, feeling it tighten under her touch. She leaned up and pressed her open mouth against his neck, her tongue sneaking out to taste him. He groaned loudly and she could feel his pulse skyrocket against her lips.

He once again pulled the sheet away from her. This time she didn't protest and let the fabric fall away, leaving her completely exposed. Her face flushed as his eyes slowly traveled down her quivering body. She felt her nipples tighten under his intense gaze and bit her lip as a pool of liquid heat shot between her legs at the hunger she saw in his eyes when he brought them back to hers.

Her lids fluttered shut as he slowly lowered his head, claiming her mouth forcefully. He kissed her thoroughly, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, tangling briefly with hers before pulling away. Before she could catch her breath, he dipped his head again, this time nibbling her lips softly, absorbing her soft moans.

His mouth finally left hers, and he buried his face in her neck, inhaling deeply before planting a soft kiss behind her ear. She felt him smile against her neck when she shivered at the sensual sensation the kiss caused. _When did that spot become so sensitive? _she wondered briefly before thought became nearly impossible as he moved on, leaving a trail of hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses down her neck. She cried out when his lips grazed her nipple, his morning stubble scratching her sensitive breast. Her fingers tangled frantically in his hair as his lips traveled further, dipping his tongue into the small indentation of her belly button.

* * *

He laid his forehead against her taut tummy, taking in great gulps of air in a desperate attempt to slow down and gain control of the fire racing through his veins. She was so incredibly responsive, so beautiful, and at that moment he knew would never, ever be able to get enough of her.

Moving back up her body, he turned so they were lying on their sides facing each other. Slowly he ran his palms down her back, pulling her to him, their bodies now so close there was no space between them and the feeling was electrifying. He let his hands go further, cupping her bottom, pushing her even closer, if that was possible, and they both cried out at the intimate contact.

He felt his muscles clench, so turned on by the dual sensation of her strength and softness. He could feel her lean muscles tensing under his touch, but her skin was flawlessly smooth and he felt like he could just lay there touching her forever. Except, of course, for the fact that he needed to get relief from his throbbing arousal. Turning her so that she was once more underneath him, he used his knee to gently nudge her legs apart. Kissing her, he ran one hand down her stomach, then down the outside of her thigh before inching his fingers lightly back up the inside. Both of them were breathing heavy and he knew even before his hand moved any further that she would was ready for him. He brought his hand up, slipping it between her legs. As he expected, she felt swollen and wet against his fingers.

He shuddered when he felt her hands mimic his earlier actions, her hands traveling up and down his back. Her nails bit into his shoulders as he finally entered her and they both exploded almost immediately.

"Wow," he said when he finally was able to speak.

"Wow," she repeated, her voice betraying her effort to catch her breath.

He locked eyes with hers as he continued to touch her, not ready to break their contact. He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip, still swollen from his kisses before tracing the delicate curve of her shoulder. Running his hand down her side, he frowned when his hand brushed against a raised welt. He leaned up to look at it and slowly brought his mouth to the wound, kissing it tenderly. Careful not to hurt her, he spent the next several minutes caressing and kissing every mark on her body, managing somehow to look both angry and sad at the same time.

As his lips sought to heal her body, what started out as comfort, quickly turned to more. He was surprised to feel his body responding yet again. But before he could act on it, his eyes caught the clock by his bed, noting the time.

He groaned, reluctantly pulling away. Smiling ruefully, he ran his finger down her cheek and said, "As much as I'd love to spend the rest of the day in bed with you, I'm sure Gates won't be too happy if you show up late for work."

"Um, actually…Gates isn't expecting me. I quit the force."

"You what!" he said incredulously. "Why?"

"It's a long story. Can it wait until after I get a shower?" Without waiting for an answer, she kissed him, and then jumped out of bed. He watched her walk away, his mind torn between the incredible view and the disturbing news that she had quit her job. When the bathroom door closed behind her, he got up, shoved on a pair of jeans on and headed to the kitchen. Still shocked by her announcement, he put on a pot of coffee and began gathering the ingredients to make breakfast.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Not For You**

Kate actively avoided looking at herself in the mirror. The quick glimpse she had gotten as she walked into the bathroom was more than enough. Her hair had dried while she slept, leaving it flat on one side and a tangled mess on the other and she had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. Had she stopped for a closer look, she would have also noted that she had a new sparkle in her eyes that hadn't been there before and an inner glow that would have been hard to describe even if she had she seen it.

She reached over and turned on the water to the hottest setting and stepped in. She winced as the water hit the open scrapes on her side, but sighed loudly as that same water soothed her aching muscles. Grabbing a green shampoo bottle off of the shelf, she poured a generous amount in her palm and then worked it into a thick lather in her hair. She smiled as the clean, woodsy scent filled the room, recognizing it immediately, knowing that it was a smell that she would always associate with Castle.

Kate stood there, letting the water pound her body as long as possible, turning it off only when the heat ran out and the water turned cool. She used the towel hanging by the shower to vigorously rub her hair to rid it of as much water as she could before wrapping it snugly around herself.

Although she felt a little uncomfortable going through his things, she opened several drawers under the sink, searching for a brush. She laughed out loud when she opened one and came across a whole arsenal of hair supplies. A brush, two combs, mousse, gel and hairspray. She grabbed the brush and ran it quickly through her damp hair.

That problem solved, she renewed her search, this time hoping to find a new toothbrush stashed somewhere. Coming up empty, she grabbed the toothpaste, and with a shrug, squirted some on her index finger. She rubbed the minty paste all over her teeth and her tongue. It wasn't ideal, but she figured it was better than nothing.

Using her forearm, she wiped away the remaining film that the steam from the shower had left behind. Frowning slightly at her reflection, she pinched her cheeks firmly to bring some color to them in the absence of make-up. Then she ran her fingers lightly over her lips, smiling at the memory of his kisses that the touch invoked. Still red, and a little swollen, it didn't matter that she didn't have any lipstick.

Finally satisfied with what she saw in the mirror, she turned off the light and left the bathroom. Quickly locating her discarded pile of clothes, she scooped them up, only to find them still damp from the night before. Determined not to walk out in only a towel, she searched the room for something dry to put on. Spying his shirt next to the bed, she picked it up. Deciding it would have to do, she slid her arms in the sleeves. Gathering the collar in her fists, she brought the fabric up to her face for just a moment, inhaling that "Castle" smell, before she began to button up the shirt. That simple act brought back memories of the night before; memories of her fingers undoing those same buttons. By the time she got to the last one, her hands were shaking and she was breathing just a bit faster than normal. Ignoring her body's response, she gave herself a mental shake and took a deep breath letting it back out slowly.

"Pull yourself together, Beckett," she told herself firmly. Then, without giving herself the chance to chicken out, she opened the door and walked into the living room. She only took a couple of steps then stopped short, surprised. His back to her, Castle was singing, his body bouncing in time to the music, a spatula waving in the air to the beat. She shook her head in amusement, feeling the tension drain out of her as she watched his impromptu performance.

As if somehow sensing her presence, he stopped abruptly and slowly turned around, meeting her eyes across the room. The atmosphere immediately changed, seeming electrically charged, as he allowed his eyes to trail slowly down her body. She bit her lower lip, barely resisting the urge to tug down on the hem of his shirt, as she was suddenly acutely aware of exactly where it stopped mid-thigh. She felt heat flood her face as his eyes traveled back up, smiling at her when they finally met hers again.

"I like you in my shirt, Kate."

Kate swallowed hard, shocked at her body's response to that one simple statement. She couldn't help but wonder if he would always have this effect on her. Pushing that thought away, she padded quickly over to the kitchen bar and sat down.

"Mmmmm. Pancakes. I'm starving!" She said it to change the subject, but then she realized it was true. With everything that had happened, she couldn't even remember the last time she had eaten. She grabbed the plate and took several giant bites, washing it down with large gulps of the coffee that suddenly appeared in front of her. She put the cup down and smiled sheepishly when she looked up to find him watching her, smiling widely in amusement. She knew she probably should be embarassed, but darn it, she was hungry.

"Got a problem, Castle?" she mumbled around another bite when he continued to stare at her. She swallowed the last bite quickly, suddenly concerned. His smile was gone, his expression now serious.

* * *

Castle hated to bring it up, but he needed to know the details of what had happened to her.

"So are you ready to tell me about it?"

She pushed the last few bites of pancake around on her plate, before giving up and shoving it away.

"You were right. The sniper, the man that shot me, he came after me again." He watched as she reached up and absently rubbed the spot where the sniper's bullet had entered her chest. He didn't think she was even aware of the gesture. He tried to meet her eyes, but she was staring away, focused on something he couldn't see. "He knocked out Esposito and I chased him onto the roof." She picked up the fork, stabbing the remaining pancake angrily. "I should have checked to see if Espo was okay. I should have called for back up. But I didn't. All of my training, all of my instincts were gone. I was stupid, and it almost cost me my life."

He reached over and gently covered her hand, the fork dropping un-noticed onto the plate. She didn't return the hold, but at least she didn't pull away. He felt her trembling and when she finally met his eyes, they had a look that he could only describe as haunted. When she spoke again, her voice had changed. No longer angry, she sounded bewildered, small. "I don't know what happened. I was no match for him. He threw me around like a rag doll, Castle."

He swallowed hard, remembering the angry red welts on her body and squeezed her hand tightly, a sick feeling in his stomach.

"Then I fell, or he pushed me… I don't know. I just remember falling over the side of the hotel. And I couldn't pull myself up. I was barely hanging on. I thought for sure I was going to fall. It hit me that I was going to die alone, without ever telling you how I felt, without ever giving us a chance. But then I heard your voice. I mean, it was Ryan, but in my head, it was you Castle."

"So Ryan saved you?"

"Yeah. He pulled me up. And Gates was there waiting for me."

"I bet she was furious."

She nodded. "She had every right to be. I broke every rule. I put Espo and myself in danger. And for what? He got away anyway."

"She suspended you?"

"Yep. But then I realized that I couldn't do my job anymore anyway. I became a cop to find my mother's murderer and make him pay for what he did. I don't know how to be a cop and not do that. But I also realized that I was going to lose everything, everyone, if I didn't stop. So I quit."

They sat in silence while he tried to absorb everything she had said. Being a cop was everything to her. But she didn't want to lose him. So she quit. For him?

He felt his heart swell with happiness. "You quit the force. For me?"

She shook her head. "No, Castle. Not for you."

He felt the smile slide off of his face. Had he gotten ahead of himself? Read too much into what she had said?

She slowly turned her hand over, lacing her fingers tightly with his. Finally he saw a glimpse of a smile.

"Not for you," she repeated softly, her eyes locked firmly on his. "For Us."

* * *

The End

Author's note: Thanks for all of the reviews and follows. I am so sorry it took me so long for me to finish this final chapter.


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